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• (if people I usually e-mail with are curious e-mail me and I'll send you pictures) I'm trying to picture some scenario where it would be OK for me as a white person to use that word to my white/black/Cherokee grandmother's face in her house and I can't come up with a non-horrifying scenario. I don't think I could have told her the word just had "totemistic" meaning and I just wanted to have a talk about semiotics with her. I'm not entirely buying that "how, and who, and why, make all the difference.". While I could "who" mattering ( ie. I think black people and only black people have a right to use the word if they want to ) I don't how and why mattering. I don't think it is OK for any white people to use this word in the name of having some abstract talk about linguistics if they wouldn't say the word in a black person's face or the face of a person of color. IMO people can say much whatever they want but you don't say things behind people's backs you wouldn't say to their face. To give another example none of my straight friend's would talk shit about lesbians in front of me or toss around the word dyke. However I'm friends with some and bi men who feel they are "close enough" and I'm different enough for them to make insulting comments about lesbians in front of me. Whenever that happens I always think "what if FlyingDogs or AxTx or other people I know were standing here listening to this". Maybe some lesbians haven't been nice to me as a bi person but I immediately think of all the lesbians who have been nice to me and I think about what it would mean if they were standing there. So I tell my friends to shut up. I'm just not buying that there are different contexts where it's OK to use words like the n word or "peon" in an abstract sense. I don't think people who mean well or belong to some other group they think is "close enough" can take that license. Would you actually "pee on" someone? If not then don't use the word "peon" because that's what it means. In general I don't think it's ever OK to say something behind anyone's back you wouldn't say to their face. I don't think context and recontextualizing things makes it OK or that we can break down the meanings of words in some academic utopia where they don't mean what they mean. What would happen if you said the words to someone's face? Beautiful lady want online dating Harrisburg Pennsylvania Erotic singles Tennyson WI Dating online sites Little America WY Amateurs swingers Centralhatchee GA Match dating sites Geistown PA

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