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Evening Kitty
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Are you my pirate?
I have been searching for something, someone special in my life and it finally dawned on me today. I found my elementary school's web site and the school mascot went from being "Pirates" to "Explorers". I mean, c'mon...are we so politiy correct that we must look down on pirates?
Then it got me thinking---
All of these guys say they want a loving, gentle, understanding, compassionate woman. Bullshit. Bull-fucking-shit. All of them! Guys want a little excitement! A girl pirate might just fit the bill?!
So, in being honest with myself, I thought about the qualities in a significant partner that I would appreciate. The only thing I think I do not want in a potential pirate girlfriend is one with a peg-leg. I thought hard about this one, but I don't think a peg-leg pirate will work for me. I thought about the possible sexual fetishes I could develop with a peg leg...well, it would be hard for her to brace herself during angry sex unless there was a rubber stopper on the end of his peg leg or one of those tennis balls I see on the walkers of lil' old ladies...and when I imagined that, well, it kind of turned me off. I mean, the tennis ball doesn't go with the whole bad-girl pirate thing, you know? So, no peg-legs. Sorry.
As for qualities I seek out in my potential female pirate, they are as follows:
- Loves the ocean, likes sailing the open seas, and has her own ship
- Likes to tie me up and me dirty names like "scalawag"
- Hunts for treasure...because I don't want a broke-ass pirate
- Has an eyepatch...
- Eats fruits vegetables regularly (because I don't want a pirate with health problems like scurvy)
- Has a scary nickname like "Gweneth the Bloodthirsty", not scary like "Snaggletooth" or "Blackteeth".
So, if you think you fit the bill (although, I highly doubt this---a good woman is hard to find and even harder is a pirate), let me know!
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